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Testo the battle of epping forest - genesis

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(Taken from a news story concerning two rival gangs fighting

over East-End Protection rights)

Along the Forest Road
there's hundreds of cars - luxury cars.

Each has got its load of convertible bars
cutlery cars - superscars!

For today is the day when they sort it out
sort it out

'cause they disagree on a gangland boundary.

they disagree on a gangland boundary.

There's Willy Wright and his boys -

one helluva noise
that's Billy's boys!

With fully-fashioned mugs
that's Little John's thugs

the Barking Slugs - supersmugs!

For today is the day when they sort it out
sort it out

these Christian soldiers fight to protect the poor.

East end heroes got to score in...

the Battle of Epping Forest

it's the Battle of Epping Forest

right outside your door.

You ain't seen nothing like it.

you ain't seen nothing like it

not since the Civil War.

Coming over the hill are the boys of Bill

and Johnny's lads stand very still.

With the thumpire's shout
they all start to clout

- there's no guns in this gentleman's bout.

Georgie moves in on the outside left

with a chain flying round his head;

and Harold Demure
from Art Literature

nips up the nearest tree.

(Here come the cavalry!)

Admidst the battle roar

accountants keep the score: 10-4.

They've never been alone
after getting a radiophone.

The bluebells are ringing for Sweetmeal Sam
real ham

handing out bread and jam just like any picnic.

It's 5-4 on William Wright; he made his pile on Derby night.

When Billy was a kid
walking the streets

the other kids hid - so they did!

after working hard in security trade
he's got it made.

The shops that need aid are those that haven't paid.

I do my double-show quick!
said Mick the Prick
fresh out the nick.

I sell cheap holiday. The minute they leave,

then a visit I pay - and does it pay!

And his friend
Liquid Len by name

of Wine
Women and Wandsworth fame

said I'm breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framded!

They called me the Reverend when I entered the Church unstained;

my employers have changed but the name has remained.

It all began when I went on a tour

hoping to find some furniture.

I followed a sign - it said Beautiful Chest.

It led to a lady who showed me her best.

She was taken by surprise when I quickly closed my eyes.

So she rang the bell
and quick as hell

Bob the Nob came out on his job

to see what the trouble was.

Louise, is the Reverend hard to please?

You're telling me!

Perhaps, sir, if it's not too late.

we could interest you in our Staffordshire plate?

Oh no, not me, I'm a man of repute.

But the Devil caught hold of my soul and a voice called out Shoot!

To save my steeple
I visited people;

for this I'd gone when I met Little John.

His name came
I understood

when the judge said You're a robbing hood.

He told me of his strange foundation

conceived on sight of the Woodstock nation;

he'd had to hide his reputation.

When poor
'twas salvation from door to door.

But now
with a pin-up guru every week

it's Love
Peace & Truth Incorporated for all who seek.

He employed me as a karmacanic
with overall charms.

His hands were then fit to receive
receive alms.

That's why we're in

the Battle of Epping Forest

it's the Battle of Epping Forest

right outside your door.

We guard your souls for peanuts

and we guard your shops and houses

for just a little more.

In with a left hook is the Bethnal Green Butcher

but he's countered on the right by Mick's chain-gang fight

and Liquid Len
with his smashed bottle men

is lobbing Bob the Nob across the gob.

With his kissar in a mess
Bob seems under stress

but Jones the Jug hits Len right in the mug;

and Harold Demure
who's still not quite sure

fires acorns from out of his sling.

(Here come the cavalry!)

up above the crowd

inside their Silver Cloud
done proud

the bold and brazen brass
seen darkly through the glass.

The butler's got jam on his Rolls; Roy doles out the lot

with tea from a silver pot just like any picnic.

Along the Forest Road
it's the end of the day

and the Clouds roll away.

Each has got its load - they'll come out for the count

at the break-in of day.

When the limos return for their final review
it's all thru'

- all they can see is the morning goo.

There's no-one left alive - must be draw.

So the Blackcap Barons toss a coin to settle the score
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